


I love you

by Chichikk



Series: Deviancy and Denial [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gavin is kind of an asshole but he isn’t trying to be, He is trying to be better, Jealous, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Tina chen: best wingman, this sum gay shit y’all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-02-08 12:38:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18623455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chichikk/pseuds/Chichikk
Summary: (Follow up to ‘won’t be living’)Gavin Reed gets a new partner out of the blue one morning in january-Surprise, it’s an android,And Gavin is PISSED!And he’d stay pissed if he wasn’t falling for the damned thing so quick





	1. Tell me I’ve been lied to

Walking into the precinct back in January, he sure as shit wasn’t expecting anything like this.

As he walked briskly to his desk, he couldn’t help but notice the small shine of blue coming from Fowler’s office; an android stood, black hair slicked back with a uniform similar to Connors, with the only differences being the white sleeves and high collar, blue lettering on his right side reading ‘RK900’  
Looking up, he jumped as he was met with the thing’s piercing blue eyes staring him down— _how long had he known he was looking?_  
It really didn’t matter, seeing as Fowler burst through the door of his office, the Android standing aside, eyes never taking themself off of the detective. “REED, OFFICE!” He yelled, not waiting for a reply from him before walking back inside of the room. 

Huffing an irritated sigh, he jogged up to the office. As he entered, he made sure to keep his eyes to the floor, avoiding the unforgiving gaze of the machine standing next to him.  
“Detective Reed, I assume you’re aware of the developments towards android freedom after the demonstration—“  
Gavin rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and looking up to meet the captain’s stern gaze.  
“Cut the shit, Fowler— why am I standing here next to this Edward Cullen looking motherfucker?”  
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the bot’s eyebrow raise in confusion, causing him to turn, meeting the other’s eyes willingly. “I’m saying you look like a vampire—“

He was cut off as the android offered his hand in a silent invitation to shake it.

“Detective Reed, I am an RK900 Unit assigned to assist you for the foreseeable future as your partner.” He turned to the captain, face never wavering in it’s emotionless expression. “I apologize for finishing your thought, sir, It just seemed more optimal to—“

“It’s _fine,_ RK900” he sighed, rubbing his temples like an exasperated mother. “But yes, Reed, he will be your partner—“ he opened his mouth in anger, about to protest before he was interrupted, Fowler pointing at him with warning in his eyes. “—and I expect NO complaints from this union, Detective. Consider yourself lucky I’m giving you another chance to be cordial with an android coworker instead of firing you before we get any lawsuits from your previous behavior.” 

Gavin laughed in disbelief, anger running in his systems as he kept a forced smile, eye twitching as the hands in his pockets clenched into tight fists. _“Thank you for this honor, Captain.”_ he spoke in an overly happy tone to convey his distaste without actually yelling at the man in charge of if he’s employed or not. 

Walking out of the office, feeling the stares of the entire precinct on him as he made his way back to his desk, a new, _android_ partner in tow.

This was fucking bullshit— utter fucking bullshit— he was one of the best detectives in detroit, and now, just because of some bullshit jesus toaster, he has to share his space and _job_ with this scary looking motherfucker.  
If that thing took out a lunchbox with a baby inside of it and started to eat, he wouldn’t be surprised. 

“Detective Reed, I’m aware that this partnership will be strange for you, given your past distaste for androids, but I think I will be a good addition to your investigations- Given my lack of deviancy, I am less susceptible to—“

He paled, looking up at it again.  
“You...aren’t a deviant?” He cocked his head to the side, slouching in his chair. 

“No. I am an upgraded version of the RK800, Connor; when cyberlife recognized his downwards spiral towards deviancy, they built me to be immune to it- I am physically unable to deviate.”

He didn’t know whether to be relieved or not by this news. On one hand, great, he didn’t have to deal with this thing’s bullshit- but then that left him with a cold, ruthless, unfeeling machine as his partner- someone he’d be on the field with— who _knows_ how it’d respond to him being injured.

Probably leave him to fuckin die.

“Just sit down, shit head”


	2. I don’t want to, but...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS this chapter took WAAAAY longer than any of my wont be living chapters— aaaaa i tried to make up for the first chap being short w this one— hope y’all like!!

Feburary was when shit really started to go south for him.  
A feeling that rested deep in his chest started to form, leaving him feeling helpless around the android- it made him _sick,_ feeling like this. He couldn’t explain the jump in his pulse around his partner every time he was around;  
He would guess it came soon after the party Tina had invited him to- an outing at a local club.  
When he said he’d go, he thought his days of relentless anxiety and panic attacks was in the past- he was an grown ass man, he’d been shot before; what could a little crowd of people do?  
Exiting the precinct with Tina, he spotted the RK unit standing by her car, waiting idly as they crossed the street over to him. “Tina, the fuck is _he_ doing here?” He tapped his foot, gesturing to the android who only looked at him passively.  
The short woman sighed, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Look, Gavin, can you just chill for the night and let the skyscraper come along? He isn’t that bad- plus, who knows,” she walked by him, mumbling under her breath. _”you might get to steal a dance”_

He knew she was just teasing, but that didn’t stop his face from flushing into a deep pink at her suggestion- leaving him staring angrily at the ground.  
Grumbling angrily, he walked to go sit in the front seat, only to see that little shit he had as a partner sitting there, door already locked. Gritting his teeth, he sat in the backseat like a child on a road trip.

“Cry about it- I just don’t want this guy’s legs bumping the back of my seat- and i really didn’t feel like hearing _you_ complain about it either.”

...fair point- that pale motherfucker was the tallest person he’d ever met. And if his ego didn’t _hate_ him for being taller.  
As they began to drive to the club, he felt his heart begin to pick up again;  
What if something happened there? What if he couldn’t move in the crowd and had a panic attack right there and then?  
What would Tina say- he’s always been able to run off before she could see him vulnerable like that- would she be embarrassed? Leave him there to cry and dry heave in an unhinged episode?  
A sudden ping on his phone made him blink himself from his thoughts, pulling it from his pocket.

**313 248 317 - 87, sent at 10:43 PM**  
_are you alright, detective?_

Another text arrived soon after viewing the first

_this is RK900 incase you were unsure- I’ve never reached out to you like this before so I doubt my contact information is in your phone._

He rolled his eyes, slumping back in the seat, making quick work of typing out a response.

**Gavin Reed, sent at 10:34 PM**  
_fuck off, I’m fine._

He could see the android’s eyes on him in the side mirror. 

**313 248 317 - 87, sent at 10:34**  
_your elevated heart rate and impulsive fidgeting indicate you’re stressed- does Officer Chen know of your problems with large crowds?_

Ohhhhh, now this bitch was crossing a line.

**Gavin Reed, sent at 10:35**  
_don’t fuckin’ talk about me like some sort of basket case to sort out, okay? Fuck off with your analysis bullshit- you don’t know shit and you aren’t shit_

**313 248 317 - 87, sent at 10:36**  
_you misunderstand my intentions, Detective; all I’m doing is seeing if my work partner really is okay with going to a very crowded area he might not be comfortable with- I am not judging you, nor am I trying to hurt your feelings. I will drop my question, however._

 

Fucking _androids._

**Gavin Reed, sent at 10:37**  
_jesus fucking christ ___

__He thought for a moment before typing again_ _

___look— I’m sorry- I just don’t like people picking at me like that, ok? I’ll talk to you when we’re at the club. ____ _

____There was a silence between them before another ping came onto his phone_ _ _ _

____**313 248 317 - 87, sent at 10:38** _you don’t need to apologize, Detective. Thank you for giving me a chance to talk to you during this._ ____

********

____This guy was downright murdering him by acting so kind— he couldn’t bring himself to cuss the android out anymore- it wasn’t _fun_ because he actually liked the guy. _ _ _ _

____In a way, he was happy he had come along to the club._ _ _ _

____In an hour, however, he felt immense regret at waking up that morning in the first place. The crowd of the club was only growing, surrounding him in a sea of people— he couldn’t breathe as he bumped into others, trying to free himself. Where was Tina?_ _ _ _

____Oh god, oh _fuck—_ people were looking at him- starting to notice his terrified, overwhelmed expression at his situation. Judging him, no doubt— look at him, he was a man in his thirties, unable to calm the fuck down and be happy like everyone else because he was being stupid— _ _ _ _

______A pair of hands on his shoulders made him look up, hands still pulling at his own hair as tears brimmed in his eyes as he met icy blue ones, LED red and...something shining in his eyes.  
He allowed the android to lead them both outside into the cold night air, sitting on the curb along with him.  
He took in quick breaths, tears falling quickly as he sat still, hugging himself.  
“Detective?” RK spoke up, moving to crouch in front of him, hands on his upper arms in a comforting presence. “I’m right here, Detective, You’ll be alright.”  
He shook his head, pushing the android away, trying to take in breaths he couldn’t seem to get into his lungs— he was drowning, _suffocating,_ he was going to die there- choking on a lack of air in the parking lot of a club in the middle of the night.  
Putting his face in front of the humans, RK locked eyes with him, not wanting to touch him and risk pushing him further into his spiral of panic. “Gavin, please— focus on me, okay? I’m right here.”  
He reached out, hands shaking, and grabbed the android’s wrists tightly to ground himself to reality. “Can you try and breathe slowly for me?” He nodded, closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath and exhaling shakily. Continuing this, his grip on the other’s wrists loosened. “Do you need anything, Gavin? There is a convenience store only a few meters from here- I’m alright with buying you some water or-“  
He spoke up for the first time in half an hour, tears subsiding. “Chocolate milk and a thing of fries...they sell them at the deli there.”  
The android huffed, letting a smile reach his lips as he stood. “As much as I’d scold you for eating unhealthy foods, I’m willing to put it aside for once.”  
Gavin chuckled under his breath, pushing himself up from the curb, cold hands finding warmth in his pockets.  
If he was in less of a dazed state of mind from his partner’s kindness, he’d be mortified at how long they stood, just looking into each others eyes.  
Sighing, he stepped forward, dropping his head to rest on RK’s chest, forehead on his serial number.  
“Detective...?” 

______“Shut up, ok? Just...give me a second...” he mumbled into the android’s jacket, not caring who saw him.  
Gentle hands on his upper back and at the back of his head in a distant hug make him want to cry again- what did _he_ care if Gavin had a panic attack— why was he treating him so kind?  
After a few seconds, he pulled back, averting his eyes to the ground.  
“Let’s go.” 

______As they walked down the chilly streets, sidewalks empty other than the occasional grave shift worker making their way back home, He felt something gentle hit his nose. Looking over, he saw the android holding out his hand in front of him, looking up to the sky blankly. “It’s snowing.” He said, drawing a pale hand to clasp behind his back again. The white flakes were visible in his partner’s dark hair, laying softly on the sculpted curls. He felt his cheeks heat, but he didn’t know if this was from the weather or something else entirely. “Yeah, and? It’s fuckin’ February, of course it’s snowing.”  
The other blinked, looking over to him, a smile on his face— so genuine- so _real..._  
“You forget that I’ve only been awake for a few weeks; this is my first time experiencing snow. Although I don’t hold any sentimental value to this sort of thing, many around me do, so I’m glad I can satiate their curiosity of how I’d react— I don’t know what they were expecting, though.” 

______Gavin stared, eyebrows raised at the android. Looking over to a parked car, he saw a decent pile of snow starting to form- as RK looked away, he jogged over, scooping up a handful, patting it into a ball with his freezing bare hands.  
“Hey! RK!” He called out, making his partner look over in confusion before he hurled the snowball at the other, breaking apart harmlessly against his sleeve.  
He was about to apologize when the android’s eyes looked at him in anger before RK spoke up, a serious in his tone making him laugh. “You’ve started a fight you cannot _possibly_ win, Detective.”  
As they both hurried to collect more snow, Gavin smiled. “You’re talking to the snowball fight champion of 2019, fucker! You’ll never come close to my level of—“  
A snowball to hitting his face sent a shock through his body, soon replaced with laughter, wiping the remnants off of his features, face pink from the cold. “I was about to say that wasn’t an actual competition, but I assumed snow to the face was enough to stop you from gloating.” 

____Oh._ _ _ _

____Oh no._ _ _ _

____Oh _fuck_ no. _ _ _ _

_______He knew that feeling in his chest any day of the week; a squeeze of his heart and warmth in his face, a jelly feeling in his limbs at the sight of whoever it was he was falling in love with—  
And now, that someone was RK.  
he felt as if the android could see the cartoon hearts he had in his eyes, mouth shut tight as he looked down to the snow covered ground._

____“Detective? Are you alright? Your heart rate—“_ _ _ _

____“YES! _yes,_ I’m fine— let’s just— I want some food- I’ll call Tina and tell her where we are— don’t uh...want her to worry.” _ _ _ _

____He was fucked, wasn’t he?_ _ _ _


	3. In your arms in central park

March felt like he had the floor collapse under his feet.

With each passing day since that night in feburary, he’d started falling more and more for the android. How was he expected to ignore the feeling in his chest when his partner would walk alongside him- the blush that creeped up on his cheeks whenever he’d allow his mind to wander to small, domestic things that RK would never do;  
Gavin knew he was a lil shit, yeah, but with stuff like this he’s a sucker for soft, romantic gestures: forehead kisses, hand holding- Tina really did strike a nerve suggesting he _danced_ with his partner.  
Really, though.... _Really?_  
That could never become a reality, no matter how much he felt his chest ache with a need for it. 

_‘Physically unable to deviate’_  
That fucking sentence would rear it’s ugly head whenever he’d think of his partner- it was like salt being poured on a goddamned snail, for christ’s sake. Yeah, Gavin was stubborn, but he knew when to throw the towel in on romance, and the fact was that RK doesn’t like him back.  
Does that really change anything? They were still partners— still friends— the only thing that’s changed is he got a fuckin’ clue.  
Even though it sucked— unrequited shit always does— he was still happy to have the presence of the android. He’d never admit it, but when a case got too gruesome, having the company of RK made him calmer; he was safe, he had someone who cared when he got overwhelmed or stressed- who would know when Gavin was lying about being fine, or was on the verge of an anxiety or panic attack. Even without that, he still was fun to be around- despite an inability to deviate, it didn’t make him a husk, per say- it might just be him projecting, but he swore he’s seen emotion in the other’s eyes; he didn’t have to walk him to that convenience store, he didn’t have to take him out of that crowded club and calm him down, but he _did._  
He didn’t know what it meant— if he was honest, he didn’t know what anything meant anymore.

“Tina...?” He said, lying on his back, phone to his ear, unable to sleep and talking to his best friend for the past 3 hours.  
“Yeah, man?”  
A silence hung between them before Gavin swallowed, closing his eyes.  
“I think I love RK— And I know it’s fucking _stupid_ of me, but I just— I keep thinking about him and it fucking sucks— everything just fucking _SUCKS,_ because he can’t deviate, and even if he could, he’d hate me for how much of an asshole I am before I’d ever get the chance to tell him, he’d—“  
He heard shuffling from Tina’s end of the line- she was sitting up. “No— no, shut up for a second, ok, Gavin? It is MIDNIGHT on a Saturday, ok?, and you call me and you drop THAT gossip-bomb on me right as I think I might be able to sleep?! Ok—“ she sighed, a smile evident in her tone when she spoke again. “You want my honest opinion?” 

He groaned, rolling over. “ _Yes,_ dick-nips.”

“I think he likes you too— sure, he’s not a deviant yet, but...c’mon— I mean, like.... _c’mon._ ”

A burning blush crossed his face, making him sit up, hugging a pillow in offense. “Wh— what the ever loving SHIT does that mean?!” 

*

It was a couple days later at 2 AM when a loud, unrelenting ringing woke him up- turning over, he saw an unknown number on the caller ID.  
Thinking ‘fuck it’, he raised the phone to his ear as he answered. A familiar voice, more alert than usual, snapped him from his sleepy daze. “Detective, This is Connor, I’m sorry to wake you this early, but RK has been severely damaged during a raid—“  
He sat up, a haunting chill running down his spine. “What the fuck do you _mean_ damaged?! where— Connor, where the _FUCK_ are you guys?!”  
Ripping himself from under his covers, he pulled on the first shoes he could find- if anyone asked about the red fringe Uggs he was wearing with his cat patterned pajamas, they could kiss his entire ass.

“A cyber life repair facility— I’ll send you the fastest route to it, it’s not far from your apartment building.” 

He threw open his front door, locking it quickly before he downright _threw_ himself down the stairs to the lobby, running out to his car in the pouring rain.  
“I swear to fucking god, Connor, If he _dies—_ “ his voice broke a bit at the end, making him wince as he drove down the street, traffic laws be damned.  
“He’s going to be okay, Gavin—“ 

Turning a sharp corner, he felt tears welling up in his eyes as he hung up, throwing his phone on the passenger seat beside him; everything just fucking _sucked-_ why wasn’t he there for his partner? If he was there, maybe— fuck, he didn’t even know- but it’d be better than feeling like this. 

He pulled off to the side outside the cyber life facility, parking his car before he ran inside, blinding lights making his eyes squint to adjust themselves as he looked around, seeing Connor approaching him in a hurry.  
“Detective Reed— I understand your anger, but—“  
Looking past the android, he could see Hank recoil in shock as someone opened the door to the room RK was in. His mind blanked as he pushed past the android, ignoring his pleas to listen to him as he ran to the room.  
His heart felt like lead at the sight;  
White limbs were lined up- on the opposite side of the room, RK was limp, covered in blue blood— his arm was missing, entire right leg missing, his left missing from the knee down. Cables hung from the ceiling- it looked like every worst case file he’d seen wrapped up in a special present from hell. He fell to his knees— he felt so lost, he hasn’t had panic flooding his body this fast before; he could register Connor’s running footsteps and the door being slammed close to hide what was behind it, but everything else was muffled as tears fell lazily from his wide eyes while he tried to breathe. He didn’t want to have a panic attack— not like this, where RK, the person who made him feel safe, was unable to be reached- but there he was, shaking, his hands in his hair like a child.  
“Why—why wasn’t I there—“ his voice was broken, choking on sobs as more tears fell.  
“Gavin, please, listen to me—“ Connors voice came, shaking as well. “We believed this would be a relatively simple raid— he was brought along as the negotiator- he didn’t want you to be in a potentially dangerous situation if it could be helped, but it turned into a fire fight- a suspect threw an explosive, and—“  
Gavin turned, anger taking over as he grabbed the android by his jacket- Hank had stood quickly, prepared to hold Gavin back before Connor signaled for him to sit back down. “Why the fuck didn’t _you_ go instead?! Maybe then the fire fight wouldn’t have fucking _happened_ and RK wouldn’t BE here— he’d be okay, and he’d be at the precinct— a-and...”  
He was holding Connor’s jacket in an attempt to focus his energy away from sobbing, hands shaking.  
God, he was tired— he was so tired, and he just wanted to see RK again.  
Arms wrapped around him suddenly, his head being rested on Connor’s shoulder as he hugged him tightly.  
“I know, Gavin. He didn’t deserve this— neither of you did. If I had known things would go south so fast, I...”

He lightly punched the android in the shoulder, his hands dropping weakly to his sides. “Shut up...It’s not your fault— I just...’m being a dumbass....I...I don’t like it— him being hurt...I fuckin hate this.” Connor sighed sympathetically, hugging tighter. “I know, Gavin. Your care for RK has only been growing in the past few weeks- you truly want him in good health, and seeing him in this state is...it’s a lot. But I know he’s going to be very happy to see you when he wakes up- infact, maybe happier than you are to see him!” 

Tina— that _Gossiping_ Bitch—

“Stop talking or I’ll ACTUALLY punch you, Connor.”


	4. Fall apart as it gets dark

He was drunk when it happened- he gets emotional and fuckin _stupid_ when he drinks whiskey, he knows this, but what did he do? Order five fuckin’ glasses of that shit.  
“You sure you’ll never deviate...?”  
Christ, what was he thinking? Why the fuck did he think he was allowed to even ask that? RK made it clear the day they met that he’d never break his code- that he never _could_ break his code. Even if he could, he’d be around Gavin and not be restricted by coding to put up with his bullshit- he’d just leave.   
He just wanted to enjoy the time he had with the other before they came to the inevitable realization he wasn’t worth the fuckin’ processing power. He’d leave, and he’d find someone better at their job- better at communicating, better at controlling their temper, someone who can actually take care of themself and doesn’t fuck up so goddamn often, and—

When did he start crying?

Hands cupping his face and wiping his tears away made him look up to meet his partner’s icy blue eyes. The soft look on the other’s face made him bite his lip to keep from collapsing into heavier sobs; why did he have to do this- to _care_ so much? If RK was a machine like he says he is- if he didn’t give a fuck about Gavin and let him cry, he’d be fine letting go.  
He’d be back to himself in a few hours- maybe even minutes! But this? This felt like his feet were in hardening concrete, and if he didn’t get out quickly, he’d be stuck.   
He couldn’t help but swallow his tears, pulling the android’s hands away coldly before downing the rest of his glass before attempting to stand on unstable feet.   
Seeing him sway, RK stood and came to his side, helping to keep him steady as they walked out of the bar and into the cool night air.   
“RK?” He asked, voice dry from the exertion of sobbing.   
His partner looked to him, concern in his eyes as the other’s demeanor. “yes, detective?” 

“I...”

How was he supposed to do this?  
The unrealistic part of him, also known as the very much drunk part of him, wanted to pull him down into a kiss- as if the android would kiss him back- would tangle his warm hands into Gavin’s hair and everything would be alright.  
But he wasn’t stupid.  
Well....not _that_ stupid.

Plan B it is, then: thinly veiled hints.

“I have a crush on a guy in my apartment building...”

He saw the android’s eyebrow raise out of the corner of his eye as they walked to his car. “You’re continuously getting drunk and emotional over a man in your apartment complex?”

“Haha, laugh it up, asshole— Gavin is fuckin’ dumb and in love and when he’s in love he’s dumb too- laugh riot!” He slurred, slumping into the passenger seat of his car, barely managing to buckle himself in.  
“I’m never said any of that, detective- as my partner at the DPD, I need to see to it that you are in a sound state of mind. You clearly aren’t. Now, with this explanation out of the way, will you elaborate?”  
He stared at the android, searching for something, _anything,_ in his eyes before he sighed, letting his eyes drop into his own lap.  
“His name is...Richard.” Smooth, Gavin, real smooth. “I met him a couple months back while going out to work- ‘ll be honest, I thought he was a fuckin’ jackass for a bit, but...he cares so goddamn much. I just...All I’ve been wanting to do for the past couple weeks is _be around_ him- a-and I think ‘maybe he’ll hold my hand’ or ‘maybe he’ll kiss me’ or ‘maybe he actually _does_ like me back’ but...!” He laughs wetly, tears falling again as he shook his head. “He doesn’t! He can’t, and it just...it just sucks. I get so fucking STUPID about this guy, and it’s like...!”   
He shrugged his shoulders, hands trembling as more tears fell, looking over to the android who had an expression of helplessness of his face.  
He sniffled, turning his head away, sighing shakily. “Just...drive.”

“Detective, you can’t just treat yourself like—“ RK reached out to touch the other’s shoulder in a comforting gesture before Gavin grabbed his wrist, shoving away the hand as his anger and pain made his heart twist.   
“Like _what?!_ a fucking dumbass?! Well GUESS WHAT, fuck face, I’ve always been a dumbass— I was a dumbass when I met you, I was a dumbass when I had a panic attack, and I was a fucking dumbass when I wasn’t there to help at that _GODDAMN RAID!”_

Silence echoed in the car, the only noise being the passing vehicles and Gavin’s shaking breaths. 

“That was _weeks_ ago, detective, why are you still giving yourself grievances over this?” 

The gentle voice of the RK unit made him want to collapse in on himself- to disappear completely.  
“It’s kind of fuckin’ hard to move past seeing that...”

The android paled, blinking in confusion. “Connor said—“

“Yeah? Well, he fuckin lied. It was 2 AM and I-I got a call, so I raced down there and...your legs were gone— your arm- It looked like a fucking crime scene, RK. I had a fucking panic attack because— shit, man, what if that was just it?  
I lose my partner, my _friend—_ I never get to even say goodbye.”

“Detective, I—“

“Yeah, your ‘prime directive’— your _mission._ no thought of anything else, yeah? Just drive me home, already...”

 

*

 

Lying on the cold concrete ground, a burning pain in his chest as blood pooled beneath him made everything feel as if it were floating. RK rounded the corner, piecing together what had happened before dropping to his knees, pulling him to lay in his lap.   
He was scared— he was so fucking scared and it was all his fault. He didn’t want to leave Tina alone— Hank, Connor-  
He didn’t want to leave _RK_ alone.  
Gavin could see the android moving his mouth quickly, as if he was rambling- what was he saying? He only really snapped to attention when he saw tears form in the other’s eyes, falling onto him.

What...was happening?


	5. What the hell did I do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a bit of creepy unwanted contact from Lewis, Gavin’s Ex, in this chapter.

Waking up felt like hell;  
His throat burned with a need to get rid of the tube running down his airways— everything felt far away and distant, including RK.   
His LED span a consistent red, an emotionless look on his face as he avoided looking at Gavin; it was a stark contrast to the android that held him in his arms as he was dying, tears falling down his face- did he just imagine that? 

“I am...”

He saw the android pause, something flashing in his eyes before he spoke again.

“...finding it hard to not blame myself for what happened. If I had been faster, this wouldn’t have happened to you.”

Gavin felt his heart sink and anger rise in his veins. He couldn’t go through seeing RK hurt again- every time he saw blue blood, it brought him back to that spot on the floor, sobbing and helpless at the sight of the android’s body, lifeless and mangled by an explosion- he’s tried to avoid cases with android victims after he first had an anxiety attack because of an extremely bloody scene of an android, but He couldn’t just shove off all his work because he couldn’t suck it up and quit doing shit like this.   
“What, you think it would’ve been better if you were stabbed instead?”  
He asked, looking down into his lap, arms folded.

“Yes.”

Gavin felt sick-  
Did RK really see himself as worthless— as _disposable?_

“Detective, I am easily replaceable—“

Bullshit— that’s bullshit and he knows it- he _has_ to know it— he can’t really think that about himself, right? 

“No you aren’t—“

“I am. cyberlife has the blueprints and coding for me- if i were shot or fatally injured—“

Gavin felt pure desperation flare up, tears falling down his face as he slammed his hands down on the bed, stopping the android’s words. 

“IT WOULDN’T— it wouldn’t be you.”

Even if RK could be rebuilt after he was killed, it didn’t change the fact that he had died- he was just replaced with an exact copy. It wouldn’t be RK- it wouldn’t be the android that threw a snowball right in his face, calmed him down in the middle of a panic attack, made his heart ache— it made him queasy just thinking of it.

“Just go back to the precinct....”

“Detective—“

“Leave.”

Hearing the door shut behind the android made him want to scream— he was almost tempted to chuck his pillow across the room, but that meant sacrificing his comfort with a lack of a pillow. 

The door quickly opening made him jump, turning to look, only to be met with the last motherfucker he’d wanted to see at this moment.

“Gavin! I heard about what happened— are you okay?”  
Lewis jogged over to his bedside, concern evident in his overly shiny puppy dog eyes.  
Jesus H christ, they broke up two years ago and he thinks _now_ is the time to get together again?

“Fuck off, Lew- I’m not in the mood for this.”

The ginger recoiled at his blunt language, brows furrowed in frustration.   
“I’m literally just checking if you’re fucking safe, Gavin— am I not allowed to see if you’re okay?”

The detective scowled, sitting up the best he could to face the other man the best he could. “Listen, fucker, we both know you aren’t here out of the kindness of your heart— _you’re just being manipulative as shit.”_

There was a silence before lewis spoke up, arms crossed. 

“There was an android in here- I saw it leaving the room...”

“The fuck does that have to do with anything?” 

Lewis sat on the end of the hospital bed, making gavin’s anxiety spike.

“I thought you didn’t like androids- why was one even here? I mean, it explains why it was in such a rush to leave- did you yell at it?” 

Gavin flinched, taken off guard by his words.

“The fuck do you mean ‘it’?” 

Lewis rolled his eyes, shifting to face the brunette, closer to him now. “Since I’m your _nurse,_ I read up on your file— it said you were brought here and an undeviated RK900 unit came to visit you. It’s still a machine, an _it._ ”

“That’s....not true—“

The man burst out laughing, trying to contain his snickering behind his hand. _“Not true?_ I know we left on bad terms, but _really?_ you miss me so badly you fall for a machine...” 

Gavin felt his chest tighten with an inner panic coursing through his veins, watching frozen as lewis moved closer to him, index finger lifting his chin.

“I— no, that’s—“ 

The loud bang of the door being kicked in made them both freeze, looking over to see the pissed expression of one Tina Chen.

 _”YOU.”_   
She pointed at lewis, fire burning in her eyes as the man carefully crawled off of Gavin.

“Tina! Long time no s—“ he was cut off with a pained yelp as she grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, all but throwing him out of the room and slamming the door behind him. 

She stayed facing the door, panting from exertion before speaking. 

“RK was here to talk to you, Gavin— he...he saw you two.” 

Gavin paled, heart freezing in his chest.   
“No— no, no—“ he repeated, trying to stand from the hospital bed, almost falling before Tina caught him. “It— shit, i’m so fucking stupid— I need to talk to him—“  
Tina laid him back down as he continued to panic, tears falling.   
“This is _not_ your fault, Gavin. Stay in bed, ok? I’ll find RK and bring him back. I’ll make sure security is posted outside your door to keep lewis away.”

“I....”

Gavin sighed, lying down, eyes slipping shut

“I don’t wanna lose him, Tina...”

 

“I know”


	6. I love you.

This was hell- it had to be.  
The feeling of his chest caving in from his never ending anxiety at the idea of RK seeing him like that- weak and scared like a _child._

Why would he even care, though?  
RK was built to protect him, yeah, but it wasn’t as though he made it clear he was in danger. 

His rationalizing didn’t ease his stress, only made it spike higher at the thought that RK thought he _wanted_ that.  
Rolling over, he felt his eyes brim with tears as he sighed.

The door opened, and he didn’t have to look to know it was the android- his footsteps gave him away with the quiet clicks of his dress shoes on the hospital floor.

They needed to talk, didn’t they?


End file.
